To be honest, I struggled big-time with contentment in my singleness before my husband and I tied the knot earlier this year. I longed for the days I would be married already. I just wanted that covenantal, exclusive, never-ending love with Silas that marriage promised me. I wasn’t going to be happy until I had it for myself.
In reality, I was upset with God for making me wait another year before I could become a wife to my earthly dearest. It wasn’t fair; we were in love, I had my person. Why wait any longer? But I knew nothing of the true purpose of marriage.
Looking back, I see I’ve had way more than I even dared to realize what I wanted all along. I wanted a covenantal love – God sealed that for me with his Holy Spirit the moment I turned and trusted in him. I wanted exclusive love – Jesus has never cheated on his Bride, although I’ve pushed other idols above him many times. I wanted never-ending love – the Lord DIED and ROSE AGAIN so I could be in eternity with him forever.
It wasn’t until a few months before we finally became husband and wife that I started to understand the true purpose of marriage. I knew it wasn’t about me, but I had yet to realize that even though marriage is more about your spouse than yourself, it really wasn’t totally about my spouse either. Marriage is something God uses to point us back to him, back to Love. He is love, and my marriage, despite the massive amounts of love God pours through Silas, is only a fraction of God’s overall love for me.
Until you realize that your contentment will only be found through Christ alone, and not the change of your marital status, you’ll only set yourself up for marital failure (either in the future or currently if you’re married and don’t yet realize this). Truly successful, joy-filled, fulfilling marriages are built with this understanding that all love is from God, our spouses are simply vessels of his love to us. If I forget that truth, I’m bound to look to my husband to provide what only the Lord can show to me through him, and demand things from him that he can’t provide through his limited human ability. If I forget that everything I need comes from Christ alone – no matter the form of which he gives to me – then I will fall into idolatry and my marriage will fall apart completely through my wrongful worship of creation rather than the Creator.
If you’re waiting for earthly love, just remember this. Your greatest pursuit is the Lord, both before and after marriage. You have all that you need in him. Marriage is one of my favorite things (even above chocolate) but it cannot compete with God’s love for us – because true love in marriage comes from him anyway. Turn from your discontentment to the Lord, and praise him that we don’t have to seek for love – because Love has already found us.